Whenever “shoulds” creep into your thinking, it’s a little ringing bell… something to pay attention to and pull on the loose thread… why is this a ‘should’?
They can come with a sense of heaviness and obligation – but there are actually 2 types of should; one to ‘avoid’, to change or do differently… and the other is the one to get really curious about.
In this episode, I’ll look at shifting your business mindset around the two types of “shoulds” that can impact your thinking & business growth, and how to tackle them.
Here’s the transcription from the video:
When you feel yourself thinking ‘I should do this thing’, there’s often a heaviness accompanying that thought. An obligation.
I think of ‘shoulds’ as a warning bell. When you feel that heaviness, your body, that thought is trying to tell you something to pay attention to.
But there are two types of shoulds; shoulds that feel forced, and shoulds that are unlocking a growth edge.
Forced shoulds usually come from outside of us; for example, you might feel a pressure to be on social media all the time, “I should be posting X times a week, I should be doing a little dance in my reel, or talk while putting my make-up on, because that’s what people do”. Or, “Although I have boundaries around this project, my client is pushing for more, and I feel I should help them.”
There’s a real niggle to them, an internal push-back that you don’t want to be doing that thing, but there’s outside pressure.
Shoulds that unlock a growth edge usually come from inside of us; “I really want to speak at this event, I know I should put my application in”, or “I know I read emails a lot and I want to send more, I should get clear on how I’m going to do that”.
Or the one I hear a lot, “I know I should set up systems for my business, it’s important for my growth, but I’ll just do this-thing-over-here first”
Both types of shoulds are a warning bell.
The first – the forced shoulds – are the ones we cut out. No need to dance on reels if that’s not your thing. It’s safe to have boundaries. You can do business your way and still have it successful.
The second – the growth edge shoulds – are the ones to be curious about.
How can you take that ‘should’, which might feel a bit niggly, to a place where you’re excited to act on it?
- Can you break them down step by step so they don’t feel so weighty?
- Can you identify the bits you do feel excited by – and where you might get stuck? Sometimes simply defining those steps and seeing your next action is enough.
- Or, can you get support to take action and move through to the outcome you want quickly?
So have a little think about the shoulds that are coming up for you. Which are forced? (So sayonara!) And which are at your growth edge, and how can you move forward with those? What’s the next step?
I like to think things out in writing, so if that’s you too, grab a journal or notebook, and brainstorm this out;
- What feels like a should, what has a weight to it right now?
- What can I release, I’m not going to do it at all?
- What am I curious about?
- And with the ones you’re curious about, how could you approach them in a way that feels less like a should and more with a little excitement? What’s the next action step?
If you’d like to support to have your business sell on autopilot & be ready for more growth; the strategy, systems, coaching and accountability, this is what I help my 1:1 clients with.
I invite you to check it out – and if you get a nudge that it might be exactly what you need – book a clarity call with me.
Thanks for watching, see you soon!
